"You were expecting me?" Jessica asked, her eyes never leaving the giant beasts overhead. "Adam, meet Jessica Trelawnty, the self-proclaimed number one expert in all things paranormal," The Badger declared with his hands importantly placed upon his hips. "And you know you I am?" Jessica's attention turned toward the men at this realization. "No one … Continue reading Chapter 14: Danger Isn’t a Middle Name
"What the heck was that?" Adam asked The Badger. "You take charge and the next thing we get is some absurdist scene break about someone taking a shower? Besides, didn't I write that ridiculous short story ages ago just to fill some space?" The Badger took a look at Adam, knowing that he didn't need … Continue reading Chapter 13: Gotta Have More Meanwhile
Meanwhile, across town, Frank was only beginning his day. A day he dreaded dearly. Today was the day he was to finally tell his boss how he had begun to seek employment elsewhere. He struggled with this because actually liked his boss. Yet, he knew his current occupational situation didn't offer much in the way … Continue reading Chapter 12: Meanwhile…
"Uh oh?" Adam asked, glancing up at Carl who was currently arguing with Mrs. Picklebottom about how x isn't a number. "Why uh oh?" "Because if you aren't writing this and I'm not writing this, who the heck is writing this?" "I don't know," Adam answered stupidly, as if he even needed to say such … Continue reading Chapter 11: Uh-oh?
Carl had a big problem. A huge problem. An impossibly ginormous incredibly terrible problem. Carl loved eating boogers. Love isn't even the right word for it. Carl was absolutely addicted to eating boogers. It had become so much of a problem that his friends had started calling him Booger-Kicking Carl. No one was quite sure … Continue reading Chapter 10: Booger-Kicking Carl
There he sat, that lonely man, all alone, with a drink in his hand. He hadn't always been alone, he thought with a grimace. He had once had friends, a wife, and a purpose. But he had gambled it away, one day, without abandon, by telling a friend a secret obsession. The man, you see, … Continue reading Chapter 9: So…what now?
The Badger's eyes opened once again and he exclaimed, "What?" "Oh, good, you're not dead," the mysterious and unwanted man replied. "Can you tell me what's going on here? I was working on this mind-bending pseudo-horror novella about a woman who was captured and --" "No." The Badger stood. He was strong, not really injured … Continue reading Chapter 8: Who the %$!# is this?
The discussion with the Titan Defense Committee was fast and furious, but mostly ceremonial. The Badger knew what to do. He had always known what to do. Because, you see, he had met the Titans once before. And as far as he was aware, he was the only person on this planet who had been … Continue reading Chapter 7: The Badger
The teachers looked on in surprise, although I definitely wasn't surprised because as always this narrative just took the most predictable turn. I mean, can you seriously expect any reader to just be like "oh, wow, she was really the woman in the room and now she's all confused about who she was" and care … Continue reading Chapter 6: New Debbie – Part II
Sounds of absolute terror filled the air of the school's courtyard. Teachers were torn between running for their lives and coming to the aid of the woman they now saw before them. Mr. Harrison was the first to jump into action. He began by ushering the children back into the school building, assuring them everything … Continue reading Chapter 5: New Debbie