I know I’ve alluded to it a few times on here, if not right-out saying it, but things have been rough in the mind of Adam for the past little bit. Between all of the stresses of life of late and the lack of sun, as well as a number of minor complaints, I just haven’t been feeling quite in my right head of late.
This isn’t me whining, I promise. I don’t typically feel the need to complain when my head is on wrong. In general, I often feel more like apologizing. And, I really should probably apologize here as well, because I know that it has had somewhat of an impact on what I’ve been talking about here for the past little bit.
But, I’ve been off…and it feels like I’ve been off for a long time.
Ever since I finished school, I’ve been finding myself getting closer and closer to being back in the world, where my brain feels a bit more like me, but with the dreary weather and all the other things on my plate of late, I just haven’t quite gotten there.
But this morning, very very briefly, I actually managed to get there. I managed to feel like myself again. And it was awesome.
It wasn’t anything big. I was in the car, driving back home after dropping off the daughter at school, and I found myself smiling. About nothing. No one was watching, there was nothing of note happening, even the song on the radio isn’t exactly a song I particularly care about. But, there it was, me smiling, and singing along, and feeling just a little bit more like me.
And that was awesome.
Sure, I got back home and the world climbed right back onto my shoulders, but for a second, I had the feeling of freedom, of ease, of happiness…
And I’m really hoping I can find a way to get back there again soon, because it was pretty darn awesome.