I recently finished a book that I have spent the past six years writing. It started with a very different concept than it ended with, has gone through countless revisions, and is a book I’ve dedicated myself to making something far and above better in its writing than anything else I’ve written, even if no one else will ever read it.
I honestly believe I succeeded on that last note. It might not be nearly as The Agora Files, or as funny as The Legend of Buddy Hero, or as twist-filled as The Long Chron, but at the same time, it’s a combination of all those things. It’s slower paced, it’s folksy, it’s based in the real world, and it probably means more to me than any of the other books or stories I have ever written.
And I’m done with it. I’ve completed it to the best of my abilities and now am at the crossroads of what to do with it.
My intention is to find a partner, an agent or publisher, who will help me make it into the book it needs to be to find an audience, someone I can team up with who knows the ins and outs of the market to bring this book to more people’s hands.
But there’s a part of me who knows that the chances of that ever happening are incredibly slim.
And here’s where the real heartbreak comes in. While I write primarily for myself, to express ideas and emotions that I don’t know how to fully express otherwise, I also write because I want people to be able to experience those ideas and emotions, because I want to reach out and touch someone with the words I’ve placed on the page. And, because the publishing industry is such a harsh mistress, I fear my abilities to do so are so slim my dream may never happen.
While I never expected to make money as an author, there has always been a part of me which believed it would be simple to find people to read my books. I’ve used countless different methods to try to build that audience, and at times have garnered a not-insignificant readership, but I guess no matter how many readers I have, the sheer act of pouring my soul into a piece of art means it never feels like enough.
So, this is my love song to my newest book to say, like a child, I want to find a way to help you achieve everything you could ever dream of, and mostly hoping that I won’t fail you along the way of getting there.