Fat Mogul vs. The Farm

If you’re not already sick of how much I’ve been talking about my family’s new farm on here, I’ll make sure you will be soon.  This whole process has been consuming my life over the past month, and will have the high likelihood of doing so for the next few months as well (at least)…Although, I’m happy to note that I’m still moving forward on the writing projects I’ve been promising you as well.

However, I just have to take a moment to talk about my new farm specifically.

Because, you see, this is the culmination of a lifelong dream.  I’ve wanted to have a farm for as long as I can remember.  I know that the film Funny Farm had something to do with it.  Something about his dream of writing novels on his farm in the country spoke to me at a young age.  Maybe it was because the rest of the film was way over my head at the time and there was really only one thing for me to take from it.

I’m sure the fact that my grandfather had a farm in North Dakota may have played into it a bit as well.

Today marks one week since we signed the papers to give all our money away so we could get the keys to the 12.5 acres I’m still working on developing a good name for…we’ll call it Oster Acres for the time being.  Since then, we have spent only 2 nights there, but it’s already starting to feel like home.  Although…I’d really rather have my bed there, instead of the leaky air mattress.

Of course, the place has its share of issues.  We get nearly no cell service out there.  That means in order to call anyone, we have to walk to the edge of our property and pray that the weather is right for the radio waves to make it that far.  I got some devices from my cell service provider which should rectify the issue and spent way too much time trying to get them to work, to no avail.

We don’t have power to any of our out buildings.  Well, actually, the power runs out there, but isn’t connected.  They also have some mighty old breaker boxes which I’m guessing no real electrician will allow us to use.

The creek (as pictured) will need either a heckuva lot of manual labor to get cleared up, or a herd of goats (I’m obviously shooting for the goats).

And I’ve spent way too much time trying to figure out why the ice maker in the freezer isn’t making ice…I think I figured it out right before we had to leave for town last night.

It’s not perfect.  Of course, neither is the house we’ve lived in these past eight years.  The important thing is that it already feels like home.  And those things we weren’t so sure how we were going to do…they’re starting to develop inside the mind’s eye.  Things are falling into place and this crazy idea we’ve been mulling over for the last 10 years is finally a reality.  A terrifying reality where everything we know is at least a half hour away, but a reality nonetheless.

And looking out at the creek, especially when I put on my waders and started tromping along inside of it, I can picture an incredibly picturesque scene available once we put in the hard work to get it where we want it to be.

And most importantly, my kids are in love.  Luckily most of the area they would want to explore (right now) is all within viewing distance of the home, but just being able to be outside and run around and just be crazy, well, they’re really darn excited.


There’s a certain calm which washes over me when I drive up to Oster Acres (Haywire Estates?), even with the crazed excitement of my three little ones as they rush to try and break everything before I’ve even gotten a chance to figure out what it was.  That calm sits there even as I move the cell phone signal booster from corner to corner of the house looking for just one measly little bar of service.  The calm doesn’t even disappear as I think about all the effort I’ll have to put into removing all the barbed wire before my kids get caught in it (too late…).

That calm’s there because I know, before long, I’ll be sitting out on my land, possibly with a beer in hand, listening to the cheerful chirps of kids and animals, just knowing that I’ve finally made one of my dreams come true…even if it may have originated from a middling comedy starring Chevy Chase.

I’m pretty darn excited about my land.  And I’m incredibly excited about sitting down outside with my laptop in hand and getting a heckuva lot of writing done.  Because it wouldn’t be the Funny Farm unless I try and fail at writing, right?

Alright, I’m out of here.  Have fun out there!  I know I will…hopefully soon.


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