Quick note from Adam: Hey folks, I know this is a bit odd for me. I don’t generally have much for guest posts in general, much less ones which aren’t from authors looking to sell books. But you know what, the folks at Cruise Club UK sent me this post and I found it absolutely adorable and thought, “Why not?” I have no connections with this organization, have done absolutely no business with them (you know, outside of talking about this guest spot), so don’t take this post as a recommendation of their services. I did do some research on them and they appear to be on the up and up, and very friendly to talk to, but I’d still suggest doing your own research, as I would suggest with all interactions with online (and offline) businesses. That being said, if you’re looking for a cruise, and from the UK, I would highly suggest giving this travel agency a look. They at least have a fantastic taste in books…
To Ibiza or to Infinity (and Beyond)? An Intergalactic Holiday Guide
2017 has just begun. If you’re wondering where to holiday this year, why limit yourself to this earthly realm when there are whole galaxies out there to explore?
With the advent of cheap global travel, the whole world is at our fingertips. With a little saving of our pennies and a few hours on a plane or boat, we can visit almost anywhere. It’s all accessible to us. Perhaps too accessible.
If you’re feeling uninspired by your options, if BA first class to Madagascar is mundane and even a luxury NCL Cruise to the Bahamas’ banale, step outside the box with us and allow your imagination to wander off not only our planet, but out of our galaxy and into a completely different dimension.
Using our decades of experience as travel experts, along with our love of fantasy and science-fiction, the Cruise Club team have put together a must-visit guide of intergalactic travel destinations, inspired by our favourite films, books and shows. After all, when there’s so much technology untapped and so many solar systems to explore, who’s to say these places aren’t out there and we won’t visit one day?
A WEEKEND OF CULTURE
Vogsphere – Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
It’s no Rome, but if you’re a fan of tourism based around bad poetry, such as a William McGonagall pilgrimage to Edinburgh, then you’ll love a trip to the Vogsphere. Although the worst poetry in the universe is still regarded to be by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings, she’s from Essex, which is hardly going to sound like an impressive holiday in your Christmas newsletter. The Vogons, however, pride themselves on writing the third worst poetry in the Universe. As Jennings is from Essex, the Vogsphere is probably a more exciting holiday prospect.
If you’d rather somewhere a little more classic for a short cruise, try a visit to Milliways: the restaurant at the end of the universe where you can watch the Gnab Gib — the opposite of the big bang — while eating delicious food. Or how about a holiday on the Frogstar? Described by the holiday brochure as ‘Sun, Sand, and Suffering on the Most Totally Evil Place in the Galaxy’, the kids would really learn to behave on a trip to the Frogstar, that’s for sure.
BEST CITY BREAK
Coruscant – Star Wars
You might need more than a weekend for this city break. After centuries of war and destruction, most of the galaxy far, far away isn’t going to make any top ten lists of holiday destinations. Coruscant, though, is a bustling metropolis that makes Tokyo and Hong Kong look like villages. With skyscrapers a thousand stories high, we haven’t even begun to develop the structural architecture to allow us to build such towering structures. It may not be somewhere you want to live (if Beijing is bad for pollution, I don’t even want to imagine Coruscant’s carbon emissions rating), but it would be a fascinating trip for a weekend.
We’re still a long way from the technology to explore other galaxies, so while you wait for NASA to hone their skills, why not cruise from the UK or US to Hong Kong instead? It’s not Coruscant, but you’ll still feel like an ant in the shadow of Hong Kong’s buildings — and you won’t have to worry about the Empire blowing you to smithereens mid-voyage. Bonus!
THE NUMBER ONE TROPICAL VACATION
Risa – Star Trek
Endor in Star Wars may have been competition for Risa as a tropical holiday destination, but after the ending of The Return of the Jedi which might have left the Ewoks extinct, there’s a strong chance you’ll just find an empty planet. Although bad for Endor, this leaves Risa firmly planted in the number one spot.
A mere 90 lightyears from Earth, Risa is also known as the ‘pleasure planet’. It’s been popular with tourists since the 22nd century — so not too long for us until we can experience it. Risa originally had a climate not unlike the west of Ireland, as it was dismal and rain-soaked, with the added bonus of a tropical climate and frequent Earthquakes. Unlike the Irish, however, who seem to have a booming tourist economy regardless, the Risians transformed their world with a sophisticated weather control network. This provides nearly constantly desirable weather and its seismic regulators eliminate the geological instability for optimum tourist comfort.
Until the 22nd century arrives, cruise off to a tour of Ireland to experience a colder, pre-climate-controlled, more seismically stable version of Risa, or cruise to Taiwan for a sub-tropical and damp climate that experiences regular seismic shaking. Both, like Risa, are infamous for their abundant amount of rain and incredibly friendly locals.
TOP NCL CRUISE FOR 2017 3017
Mars – In our own Milky Way
Mars may not be fictional (on clear nights you can see it shining down on us, tinged with red) but visiting is still something in our imagination. Considering a whopping 200,000 people applied for a one-way ticket to be among the first people to colonise Mars, imagine how many more would want to go on a cruise that would then come back? Even film director Werner Herzog, in his recent documentary Lo and Behold, Reveries of the Connected World, said without hesitation that he would want to visit. Celebrities have been throwing money at the few remaining seats on the Virgin Space Voyage, hoping to be among the first ever space tourists.
Large cruise companies such as NCL Cruises and Azamara Cruises aren’t yet looking at expanding onto the space travel market. Outer Space voyages are still a sphere dominated by billionaire entrepreneurs, such as Richard Branson and Elon Musk. When space travel becomes possible, though, it’s a logical expansion. Imagine a future where, when you log onto a cruise deals website, you don’t just have to choose between Hong Kong and Dubai, but you can look at the Moon, at Mars, the moons of Jupiter and beyond? With so many possibilities out there, where would you go?
Author Bio: Paul Edge, director of Cruise Club UK, has spent over 25 years working to improve the travel industry. When not in the office, he’s on a Cruise from the UK relaxing on the deck with Ford Prefect, Captain Spock and a couple of Wookies.