Fat Mogul vs. Pumpkin Spice

You know what my kids had for breakfast this morning?

Pumpkin Spice Life cereal…

That’s right, folks, the season is upon us.  The season of death.  The season of terror, the season of …fall *grumble*.

Look, I know, it hasn’t been that long since I talked about how much I love summer and I’m already here to talk about how much I despise the autumn.  But it’s true.  I hate it.

Things like pumpkin spicing up every single thing under the (not going to be around for much longer) sun doesn’t make things any better.  Just makes the whole season feel…terrible.

Now, sure, I love me some Halloween.  I’ll admit that I’ve driven down country roads just to look at the fall colors.  And I’ve been aching to get out to an apple orchard and down a few pints of apple cider.  (Speaking of which…why can’t we have more Apple Spice stuff instead of all this Pumpkin Spice crap?)  I even love me some pumpkin pie and Thanksgiving and…okay, you get it, there’s a ton of things I really dig about fall.

But I really really really hate fall.  Maybe it’s that my seasonal allergies kick up right about now and don’t allow me to feel like a real person again until the snow’s on the ground and I’m stuck inside for nine months.  Maybe it’s that I really really hate how everything has pumpkin spice in it nowadays, without using any pumpkins, of course (which, to be fair…I’m not sure I actually dislike pumpkin spice…just the concept of pumpkin spice keeps me away from it all).

Or maybe…just maybe…it’s because I see fall for what it really is.  The death of summer.

Honestly, fall, in general, really is just all about death.  Ignore that the Day of the Dead and All Hallows Eve occur during the season.  Just look at the leaves on the trees, the migrating birds, and the fact that we harvest all our crops up and leave our fields dormant for the following months.  Fall is just preparing for winter.  And I really don’t like winter.

Fall is, of course, some of the best time to play outside.  It’s not like gross wet spring where you still don’t have all the grass on the ground and everything’s muddy so you just feel dirty…not to mention you still haven’t had all of the gross stuff that got stuck in the snow get washed away yet.  Nope, fall even means there are a ton of leaves covering the ground to give you a little cushion when you get tackled to the ground after deciding to throw the pigskin around.

It means sweatshirts and long pants.  No longer needing to escape to the air conditioning to feel human again.

But it means summer is over…and that makes me very, very sad.

So…although my lovely city’s International Fall Festival doesn’t seem to know it (seeing as it’s happening this Saturday), I’ve still got a week of summer left.

Now I just need to figure out how to use it…

Have fun out there!


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