I’ve found myself in this very interesting situation of having very little time and so many things to do. So much, in fact, that I’ve been working only 4 hour days this past week, in order to help out with the new little guy, but still feel as though I’ve barely touched the lad. The fact that he seems to be developing into a regular momma’s boy seems to support that theory as well.
Now, I get it. A newborn takes over your life and you will almost always find yourself being completely overwhelmed, especially during the first few weeks of his life. That I’m spending a great amount of my time trying to finish up what should be the easiest simplest fast part of the bathroom renovation project definitely isn’t helping anything.
So, here I’ve been, feeling as though I’m running without possibility of stopping. Working toward trying to keep all of the balls up in the air, or at least from bouncing too many times on the ground, while also attempting to move forward on things like book marketing and the bathroom. It’s exhausting.
I can’t help but think back to when my daughter was born, back when I was a newly minted father, no previous experience, and scared out of my wits.
First, it was a bit different because it was our first kid and everyone recognized how completely overwhelmed we were going to be. We had all of the possible help available to us. Not to say we haven’t had help available for this guy either…it just seems like there was more than we needed then…maybe because that was before we were outnumbered 🙂
But even more so…I had very little else going on. Sure, I didn’t have other kids to pay attention to, so I could lavish my love upon just one adorable little sweetheart instead of attempting to split my time between three.
In fact, taking a look at the me of 5.5 years ago and the me of today, there’s very little that’s the same. I’ve officially become “Dad”. Well, technically, I’m still “Daddy”, but, well, you know…that seems a little awkward to admit in such a public forum as this. 5.5 years ago, I was still the guy who was working on coming up with all sorts of grandiose plans of things to do, like making movies, or taking awesome trips, or going out with friends, or whatever else. I was a busy guy, but I was busy with recreation. Now, I’m a guy who is busy, but busy keeping up with life. From what I’ve heard, this doesn’t stop…not anytime soon…especially not with a newborn around.
I actually sometimes thing to the future of soccer practices and whatever else extracurricular activities my kids might get into. I’m not sure how parents do it.
And that’s where I start beginning to understand what it truly is to be a parent. 5.5 years ago, I was on top of things, I had the house always clean, I was moving forward on all the things I intended to move forward on, and I still had plenty of time to have some fun afterward. Today, I’m too exhausted to have much for fun on any normal day and cram it in when I feel like it’s probably been too long since I’ve done something for myself…and then regret it later when I realize that I didn’t get something else done. Time management has become a very important part of my life. I’ve always been a rather efficient guy…now efficiency is a requirement. If I make a non-efficient decision, I could be paying for it for weeks.
People generally refer to this as responsibility. I think it’s more than that. It’s not that you need to be responsible for everything (although that’s definitely a requirement), it’s that you simply have to figure out how to fit everything you need to get done into a given day. Sometimes it’s simply not possible. Sometimes you have to just completely change your routine in order to make sure it will happen. And other times, you have to say, Screw it! and take the family out to have some fun because they’re just getting too darn tired of you sitting around under a bathroom sink trying to figure out why all the pieces won’t fit together in a way that won’t cause mass flooding.
In other words…I’m currently in the adjustment period of adulthood, trying to find that new routine where all of the pieces fit. Until that routine is determined…it’s possible that one or more of my kids might go a day or so too long without being cleaned.
I’m working on that. 🙂
On the bright side. Yesterday was the first day I actually found a moment to sit back and write a few words on The Right to Liberty…and it was a great day because of it. Today might even bring more words….we’ll see.
Anyways, I’ve got to run. Have fun out there!