Fat Mogul vs. The Boy

Boy Power!
Boy Power!

I grew up as the oldest of three kids, both of my siblings being girls.  In my extended family, once again, females ruled.  Sure, my father had seven brothers, but all of them seemed to have girls (well, except one of them who had two boys, and later on there started being more males that appeared in the family lines, but yeah..girls).  On my mother’s side, it was the same.  I have one male cousin on that side of the family.

In other words, all my life I’ve felt inundated by girls.  So, when my wife was pregnant with our firstborn, I was eager to have a son.  I knew we were having a girl (even though we didn’t officially find out until her expulsion from the womb), but the idea of having a son was a pretty big deal for me.  I wanted to have more males in the family for once.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I loved (and still love) my daughter from the second I first laid eyes on her.  You don’t have to look at many pictures of her early days to see how completely enamored I was with her.  I didn’t question for a second my feelings toward her, I didn’t ever regret the fact that she had a different piece of equipment downstairs.  I loved her.

But then we were pregnant the second time.  And my precog abilities told me it was going to be a boy…and then the ultrasound tech told us it was going to be a boy…and then it was a boy.  And I was excited.  Sure, my family was still evenly numbered, as opposed to being outright masculine, but it hadn’t been outnumbered by those estrogen producers…yet.

I have to admit, my connection with the boy was not as immediate as with my daughter.  He was, from the start, a momma’s boy and we battled endlessly during our times together.  He, quite frankly, wanted nothing to do with me.  And after endless nights of a baby screaming at me, I have to say that the feeling wasn’t entirely not mutual.  I mean, I loved him, don’t get me wrong, but our bond took a lot more work to build.  Now we battle, but it’s for the sake of truth, justice, and the American way, as opposed to battling so that mom will just slip a milk bag back into his mouth.

It’s actually pretty awesome to have a little boy who, now that he’s potty training, often comes out of the bathroom with his legs drenched in urine because he attempted to pee standing up, “like daddy”.  For the record, my daughter has also mastered the ability and seems rather disappointed she doesn’t get to do it all the time…something about my daughter squatting in the backyard in the middle of downtown just doesn’t seem like it would come off as good parenting to the neighbors.

So, when my wife became pregnant again, I honestly was feeling rather conflicted about my personal wishes.  I mean, there was always this childhood want of there being more boys in the family than girls, but there was also the simple fact that the early years with my son were not nearly as pleasant for me as they were with my daughter.

Of course…my precognitive abilities already told me what it was going to be…and then so did the ultrasound tech.

I believe my daughter’s still in a state of shock regarding the fact that the baby currently residing in my wife’s expanding belly does not have the same methods of urinating as herself.  There are times when both she and the boy seem to discuss whether or not the gender of the baby will be one thing or the other.

But, of course, as parents, we determined we needed to find out early for one simple fact…we didn’t want our kids to have the same issue I did whenever I found out that there was another girl on the way…especially since there was always the possibility (and now the certainty) that this one was going to actually be a boy.

That’s right…two boys.  Come this December in the Oster household, penises will finally win!

And I couldn’t be more excited.

Of course, I’d still be pretty excited even if Baby Batman didn’t have a penis…Batgirl is one of my favorite characters, after all.

So…there you go…today marked a bit of an announcement.  I hope you enjoyed it.  I’ve got to get back to work on making sure I get everything ready for the release date coming up soon.


Also, hit up the link on the right (for desktop users, who knows about you mobile/tablet browsers) to get entered to win a copy of The Legend of Buddy Hero.  It’s important reading material to prepare you for The Rise of the Fat Mogul, coming out August 1st!

Have fun out there!


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