It’s been a while since I’ve made any of these comparisons, but that’s probably because I’ve been hiding from the grown up social scene for quite some time. All the same, something happened on Monday that has been bobbing around in my head ever since…and, well, it makes me feel like I’m in high school yet again.
I’m not even sure I should be mentioning this at all (in typical high school fashion), but on Monday I was made aware of the fact that there’s someone in the publishing industry (a somewhat low-ranking individual I believe, but still within the industry) who read my book and thought it was ‘good’ and is passing it along to agent friends. Now…this news is of the “a friend told a friend told a friend” variety and should be taken with a hefty dosing of salt grains. I’m not mentioning this as a way of early announcement to state that The Agora Files is on the verge of being picked up for real publication and a movie deal is in the works. I repeat that I am NOT stating that.
There are parts to this story that I know to be true. The person in question DID receive a copy of The Agora Files. Actually, I should correct that. I can rest assured that she had the book sent to her…she may or may not have received it. The rest of it comes through sources that are probably mostly reliable (I don’t know all of them), but, you know how the old telephone game works. The only other detail that I can consider remotely certain is that the reason she agreed to read the book is to offer suggestions on what I might do to achieve publication bliss.
I’ve probably already said too much. There’s a certain emotion I want to discuss here, which unfortunately involves giving out information that I’m sure I shouldn’t be. So, because of that, I want to reiterate as many times as possible, don’t get your hopes up that you’ll be finding The Agora Files on their local BAM shelves any time soon. I hesitate even writing this article for the fear of getting anyone’s hopes up as high as mine are, because there’s absolutely no reason to do so…
However, that exact juxtaposition of emotion vs. certain truth is what I wanted to talk about today. I’ve felt it many times as an adult, and every time I do, it reminds me of a moment during my freshman year of high school, where a friend of a friend of a friend (with possibly up to six more degrees of separation) was told by the ‘hot’ girl in my class that she liked me. To this day I don’t know if that’s true either, so stop getting your hopes up already. But here’s the thing…I really had no interest in this girl before I was told this. Suddenly, she was all I could think of. This whole telephone game of courtship continued long enough to end with us getting put on the phone together, friends giggling in anticipation at our sides as I awkwardly tried to determine if I should ask this girl out on a date.
If you know anything about me and women, especially at that stage in my sociological development, you’ll know I didn’t.
But that’s how I feel right now, where this girl that I didn’t even know existed until a couple of months ago, suddenly becomes an obsessive thought in my mind. As of a few months ago, I was feeling as though I were completely done with the ‘dating’ scene, publishing-world speaking. I had fallen on my face enough times that I just figured it might be best to stay away. Then, suddenly, I hear that someone’s willing to just read my book and my brain goes crazy. So crazy that I sit in front of my computer wanting to draft the e-mail version of a “if you like me, check yes,” note.
I want to emphasize at this point that this is all hyperbole, as this person is not someone I’ve ever actually talked to, and if I should expect anything, it should be industry advice, at best.
High school prepared me to respond in this way. If I hear there’s any possible interest from someone out there, instantly there are fireworks are going off in my head as though this is the love of my life…whom I’ve never talked to.
Unfortunately, if high school has proved anything to me, it’s that these are the types of situations I am really good at blowing…perhaps through things like publicly discussing my love of this person I don’t know in manners like…oh…yeah..okay, so, like I said before, don’t expect anything from this. I just blew it.
But seriously, I didn’t like her anyways…her and her stupid sour grapes.
This has been a metaphor-laced discussion about topics that may or may not be completely a lie…we all know that the ‘hot’ girl in my freshman class never had any interest in me and that the girl I talked to on the phone was actually just the cute, but chubby, one.
Have fun out there and also…if you like me…click yes…