Four years ago today, I was exhausted: physically, mentally, and probably a bit spiritually. Starting around 6pm the night prior, my hard as nails wife began the process of being put into labor for my adorable daughter. Approximately 18 hours later, I watched a child enter this world. In an amusing moment of shortly mistaking some swollen girly parts for boy parts, my newborn daughter briefly held a rather masculine name. . .
These past 4 years have been pretty darn amazing. Going into fatherhood, I was excited, but scared. I still worry about being the one who emotionally scars my children, or falls short of their expectations, or, you know, any number of things I could possibly do wrong in their eyes. I’ve learned to be tough when necessary, even if I’m doing so while trying to fight back a smile at whatever amusing thing they’ve done this time that just so happens to not be considered appropriate behavior.
It’s not just my baby girl’s 4th birthday, but my own 4th birthday because 4 years ago today I was completely changed, born into a new role in my life. . . namely, FATHER.
It’s such a weird thing to think about. Every once in a while I think of my life before fatherhood and have a hard time imagining such a different lifestyle. Sure, I enjoyed it, and perhaps there are times in which I had the free time that used to be available to me . . .but I wouldn’t trade it.
Another thing happened approximately four years ago as well. Having my own progeny in this world caused me to want to do something that I could be proud of to them. Sure, there’s all the little things that people can consider pride in themselves for, but I needed more. So, once I finally started getting used to the complete lack of sleep involved in being a father, I began truly writing my first novel. So, I’m basically saying you can blame her for me trying to convince all of you that you should read the stories I put together.
Anyways, this is a long winded way of saying that as I sit at my desk today, I find myself thinking back to the exhausting day of watching my wife work hard to bring my daughter into this world and knowing that although she hasn’t allowed either of us to stop since, she truly has been worth it.
Time to go open some presents!