Nostalgic

It’s been a rather nostalgic few days for me as I’ve been back in my childhood home of south Carolina. Although after doing the math I have come to the realization that I have lived elsewhere for the majority of my life, I still find myself considering this home.
But I find its not the home that I miss, but the friends and family I have lost contact with over the years. There are so many people whom I considered closest to me who are not in my life in any way any more. I miss them.
And I hate that they aren’t a part of my life anymore. I know that I am mostly at fault for these lost connections, as my life has taken me in different directions (wonderful directions). We are all different people now, have different aspirations and motivations. And those differences make it hard for those relationships to continue as they had, and I guess I’m just not very good at knowing how to help these relationships evolve to whatever they should be now.
But very often I find myself in front of the computer, staring at the screen as I try to come up with a way to begin anew with these people I have lost.
I write messages to them over and over again, only to delete the words I have written because I find them lacking.
In all my experiences as a writer, I have yet to find a way to tell these people that I simply miss them without fearing that I sound insincere or pathetic.
But the truth is, if any of you are reading, friend or family, southerners, northerner, or wherever you are now, I miss you dearly, all of you.
I just wish I knew how to tell you that.

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