Time is such an odd thing. Although constant (within a reference point) it seems to have a liquid quality to it. When in the midst of doing something pleasurable, time seems to go by too fast, the opposite is seen to be true by those who are doing something they would rather not be doing.
However, for the busy person, no matter whether what they are doing is pleasurable or not, there just never happens to be enough of it. Time is what I believe to be mankind’s greatest enemy. We just don’t know how to deal with it.
When I was a younger man, I found myself frequently “wasting” time. Something I was excited about was in the near future, so I would do whatever I could to bide my time until that event arrived. Now, as an older man, the idea of wasting time pisses me off. Sure, I spend my time lounging on the couch, but that’s generally whilst cuddling up to my children, or for the purposes of resting a weary body/mind.
In fact, I find it increasingly difficult to sit still as I get older. There are so many things I want to do, so many things I’m required to do, and so many things I should do, that I just don’t know how to fit it all in unless I’m constantly on the move.
Of course, the main culprit for the theft of my time is my employer. 40+ hours of every week is spent in front of a computer doing things that are, by all means, completely pointless. The job isn’t pointless, it’s what gives me the necessary funding to live. The tasks I’m asked to perform in the job are generally unnecessary. Things a monkey could do if he wasn’t too busy being confused by a keyboard.
However, even if I weren’t being asked to perform completely inane tasks (reference Marvin and Me post from last week) I’d still just be pissed that my time is constantly dedicated to this task. Not that I have to work a job, but that I have to work 40+ hours every week. I can complete my weekly duties in well under the required time frame. Always have been able to do so. So, I’m therefore required to milk time slightly, dig into things deeper than are truly required just so I actually make full use of the 40+hours.
And it pisses me off.
Hence my want to write and get paid for it. I crave this idea. But I crave it just like I crave most other jobs I get my eyes on. I want a job that has tasks, but no requirement of time. I don’t mean deadlines. I love deadlines. I just don’t want to have to spend X amount of time every week performing duties, when it takes me less than X amount of time to complete them. I just want to complete the duties and move on to one of the other million things I would like to get done.
I honestly believe that the 40 hour work week has severely decreased my working speed. It’s hard knowing that I have to work 40 hours no matter what I accomplish. It’s difficult seeing that the more I might get done in a 40 hour period affects me in no way. I try to put my full attention toward work, but when it comes down to having to find ways to bide my time. . . well, it’s just annoying. Let me be done and on my way. I promise I’ll be done a whole helluva lot faster if I know I can be out by noon everyday instead of having to stay on until 4 just to get my 40 in.
With all of this said. . . I’ve found ways to bide my time, but they are not always to my employer’s benefit. This bugs me as well. I don’t really like knowing that I could be doing more for them than they are capable of having me do. But I also don’t like knowing that it really doesn’t matter how much more I get done, as I’m already exceeding their expectations.
In other words. . . I hate corporate life. Give me a farm. I’ll work hard, sweat hard, and dig in the shit. But at least I have a workload to finish, and when I’m done with that, I’m done.