I’m stuck on the business end of everything now.  Work is getting down to some nitty gritty type stuff, especially seeing as I’m transitioning to a new position in the next couple weeks.  My house, well, it’s all business.  Now that the snow has melted, I’ve got yard work tossed on top of my normal duties (heh. . . duties).  But, even more than that, I’m full force into the business aspect of my novel Run!.  Selling has never been something I’ve excelled at. . . mostly because I just don’t enjoy it.  I’ve never been one to want to try to convince someone that they want something.  It’s just never been my style.

But, when you want to write a book. . . or, more so when you want to actually get a book published, selling is a very important aspect of the position.  Looking at some of the horribly-written books out there, it’s pretty obvious that sales abilities makes all the difference.

I keep finding that I want to seek out someone to sell my book for me.  And then, that train of thought reminds me that this is exactly what I’m doing already.  And that then makes me sad.  I’ve come to the point already where I’m once again trying to come up with a way where I can find someone who would be willing to do the sales pitch to agents for me to convince the agents that they will do the sales pitch to the publishers for me. . . it’s all too heavy of a concept.

But, of course, that’s just complicating matters more than is necessary.  I need an agent.  I want an agent.  They’ve got the sales abilities I need to get through the gatekeepers at the different publishing houses. The only problem is, I have no clue how to pitch my book to them to convince them that they want my book.

This is some early whining, as I’ve barely scratched the surface of trying to pitch my book to agents at this point.  But, it’s all based on a fear.  Not that my book’s not good enough, because I believe it’s a gem.  But that I’m not good enough to actually convince people of how good it is.  And that frightens me.  It also leaves me looking to the stars, squinting to see if they are aligning in my favor.

So far, I haven’t seen squat.  But that’s probably because I’ve been too tired to actually look at the sky when it’s dark out.  It’s really hard to see the stars in the daytime, I’ve found out.  At least when you’re not using some sort of vision-enhancing device.

So, anyways, I’m working on trying to get stuff together in a much more appealing manner. Tweaking my query letter to make it as fantastic as possible.  Trying to hide my lack of confidence in my own selling abilities and show my confidence in my book.  It’s difficult.  But I’m going to do it.  I need to do it.

It’s times like these where I easily begin contemplating quitting the whole idea of being a published author.  I want to quit.  Daily I think to myself of how I should quit.  In fact, I have quit at least 3 times in the past 4 days already.  But I keep coming back to it.  I love writing, and I feel so pathetic when I think that I may write these great pieces of work and never have anyone see them, outside, of course, of a few member of my family and friends.

So, I’m dedicated to the cause.  I will sell this book.  I’m just not sure how yet.



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