Time Flies. . .

So, obviously this site has been on the far back burner of the stove that is my life. . . Granted, most things have taken a back seat since the birth of my son.  Add in the fact that we took a week vacation to Disney World a few weeks ago (from which I’m still recovering) and you see a man who has spent very little time outside of just trying to keep up, as the mounting piles of leaves on my lawn will attest.

But, change is afoot.  My wife and I recently became aware of a business for sale which we are more than anxious to grab on to.  However, finances being as they are, it will be a bit of a stretch to convince any bank to back this venture.  Add into that how this business does not currently have the strongest operating processes and you quickly find we have an uphill battle ahead of us.

This caused me to do quite a bit of thinking, as I’m really big on the idea of owning my own commercial space (not to mention the upstairs of this building, although in great need of repair, would make a wonderful new Oster HQ).  And I came to a conclusion, yet another conclusion which causes me to have to take back things I’ve said in this space.

So, here it is announced that I am once again attempting to find someone to represent my book.

This decision was not one I reached easily.  After the mental breakdown which ensued with my previous attempts to find representation, I just wasn’t sure I could handle it any longer.  Sure, I convinced myself I would be able to reach the masses on my own, pretending I was more than willing to give the middle finger to the publishing houses, but that was a lie.

I was scared.

Heck, I still am scared.

I’ve never been all that good at rejection, and seeing the ever increasing piles of rejection notices filling my inbox had an incredibly negative impact on my brain.  I couldn’t handle it.  So, yeah, I convinced myself that I could go it on my own.  The only problem with that is. . . well. .  . I still had to sell the sucker.  Only this time I would be selling to book review blogs and book clubs and whoever else, all being people who had nothing to gain from the situation.  I mean, I was at the whims of these people about whether or not they would want to take their time to read through this self-published work.  And all they would get out of it, at best, was a couple of extra hits on their blogs because I sent my friends and family there to read what people had to say about me.

Not only was I once again selling (each time for a much reduced return on time investment than if I were to seek representation) but I was once again receiving rejections.  And those rejections were even more understandable than the ones I was getting previously because if you’re going to run a book review blog (or other such thing) your time investment has to be worth it, because all you are doing is presenting content for your readers, and therefore you want to go with the stuff that other people have already considered somewhat worthwhile (as in the agents, publishers, reviewers, editors, and whoever else that is involved in the act of getting a book published) as opposed to just whatever some dude wrote and tossed up on createspace.

I understand it.  And because of that understanding I didn’t take the rejections nearly as hard.  They weren’t rejecting me as much as they were rejecting the process I had taken, the process that I shall henceforth call the chicken-sh*t process.

So, I’m back to where I started somewhere around the time I started writing on this blog again.  No more of the young adult book crap, no more trying to go it on my own.  No more doubting myself.  Because that is, of course, what both of those things were, I was doubting that my book was worth it.  And that’s stupid.  That’s why no one wanted it in the first place because I didn’t believe in it.

Which is really dumb because I do.  It’s a good book.  And now there are several people who are in possession of their own copies, thanks to my self-publishing, who have also enjoyed it, and are also in possession of something which will be worth quite a bit of money some day, as the small number of copies I sold as a self-published author.

So, go buy your own copy of The Legend of Buddy Hero now, consider it an investment.  Heck, you don’t even need to read it, just frame it and wait for a few years when collectors will be busting down your door with fistfuls of money.  🙂

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