Exhaustion

Turns out I was right.  I finished the first draft on the young adult version of my novel earlier this week, and was incredibly happy with it.  Today, in fact, I finished the second rewrite of my novel in 10 days for the purposes of making it into a young adult book.

Part of the push to move quickly on that was due to an agent being interested in reading the rest of my manuscript after reading the first 50 pages, and, after being told that I was working on a YA version, agreed that the story would have possibilities in that direction and requested that version of the manuscript as well.

I didn’t want to send something completely half-assed out, but I did, and regretted it.  Now, the amount of changes from that version and the version I sent out today aren’t incredibly huge.  Some may even say that they are unnoticeable.  But I believe that they make a world of difference in making my product look at least a tad more professional.  Which, of course, is important when trying to gain representation.

But I feel like I need to vent a little.  Even though I haven’t personally received anything which should cause me to vent in this way. But I’m frustrated.  This entire selling process is completely frustrating.

Now, I’m not saying that they shouldn’t get annoyed by an author who has a piece of work littered with spelling errors.  Grammar is another thing I believe to be quite important.  But when I read in their submission guidelines that they hate getting a mass e-mailed query letter, I just get pissed off.  I mean, seriously.  These guys are ready to reject at the drop of the hat.  We authors have to wait months to hear back from them in the first place.

Look, I e-mailed you my query because you appear to be a talented salesperson, who has a taste for books like mine.  I think you might like it, and could probably be able to sell it.  You seem to be legit, and I’m willing to sell my soul to get this book to do anything more than sit on my computer hard drive for the rest of my life.  Get over yourself.  You’re not my dream agent.  My dream agent doesn’t accept unsolicited queries because they’re already making enough money off of their current clients.  You’re an agent I think could do a good job, and I’d like to hire you.

But, of course, representation isn’t something where you have people come to you interviewing for the job.  No, you have to go through copious amounts of annoying hoop-jumping in order to give these people your money.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally respect the work that literary agents do.  There’s no way in hell that I would be able to do anything with my book on my own outside of finding some little crappy self-publishing website and losing my ass on their fees.  No real publishing house would want to listen to me, because they just don’t have the time to listen to every wacko.  So, these agents, they’re there to get me an interview for my job as a writer.

There are a lot of idiots out there trying to pretend they’ve written the next NYT best seller.  I’m no different than the rest of them, and even if I were, there’s no way these agents would know the difference.  But it’s annoying.  It’s annoying knowing that I don’t even have a chance unless I somehow pique their interest in the one page I have to tell my story.

Anyways, so, that’s been one major part of the exhaustion, writing and selling my book.  Because of that, I am both mentally and emotionally exhausted.  I spent all day wondering if the people looking at my writing think it’s worth anything, or if they are just going to send me another of their form rejections (I got three today!).

Add onto that the fact that today began the first day of our yard sale, in which I lug 500 lbs of crap out onto our yard and back onto our porch, and you’ll see I’ve hit the trifecta of tired.  Why am I still awake?  Because somewhere in my head I feel that I should stay up just a little while longer to see if someone sends me a happy e-mail about my book.

 

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