Day’s End

I’m going to go right out and admit it.  I didn’t get any work done on the rewrite process today.

I know, I feel bad about it.  Here I am trying to keep myself focused on this task and actually make something of this book I’ve spent so much time on, and already I’m ready to fall behind.

But, to be fair to me, it’s not like it wasn’t on my mind.  I actually came up with a solid epilogue concept which will develop the idea of where this series is intending to go in the future.

But the truth of the matter is that I spent most of today focused on an incredibly different topic.  Sales.

Throughout my writing process, I haven’t really spent much time considering who I was writing this for.  And, ultimately, I wrote it for myself.  But at the same time, I did have some concepts regarding how I wanted it to be an incredibly approachable read for those who might not read often.

But the problem is, when I find myself looking into writing for an audience, everything I read just comes off as selling out.  And so today, I had to ask myself how I could do to make this book more appealing to the market, while still staying true to the characters and the story.

And this became a major block point for me in my writing process today.

Because it got me thinking of my previous projects and how I ultimately became too scared to show them to anyone because I didn’t think they would pass muster.

I’ve been living in the fictional world of Buddy Jackson for over 6 months straight now. It’s been consuming my mind. I’ve been rolling the words I’ve written around in my head over and over again, coming up with plot points, developing character flaws, and making up a great deal of motivation for these people to be doing the things that they are doing. I’ve put much more of myself into this project than any other project I’ve ever worked on before. And I’m still not hating it yet.

In fact it’s the exact opposite. I came out of the rewrite process renewed in my work. I’m still afraid of it, but it feels so much different than anything I’ve tried in the past. I know it’s not perfect.  It still needs a healthy polish. But polish is nothing compared to what my previous projects needed.

I think I have a strong story. I’m a little shaky on the ending yet (reason why I’m so scared to re-read it) but I think that the overall tale I’m giving out is solid. I think there are some great characters. I love them!  And based on my wife’s responses, they’re coming across exactly the way I want them to.

It’s coming along, and that is amazing to me.

But I’m still scared.



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